Sunday, October 18, 2009
One Shot of Life, Two Shots of Reality
I was sitting here wondering how many blogs had I wrote in my head, before I decided to put it to paper, or in this case Laptop. I had wrote a blog about MTV, and why it has to be the worst channel in the world, yet it has the most influence on a narcissistic generation, who has contributed nothing, but feels entitled to everything. Or the blog about the what is reality TV? it's completely staged, but people can't get enough of it, watching others lives as your life goes by, the best reality TV is sports, its scripted but so many things come in to play, like fatigue, and the fact that the opposing team has a script to stop what you plan to do, interesting huh? I also wrote a blog on being a salesperson, and the level of disappointment thats involved; and know one has a clue; the lies clients tell, what it cost the salesperson, in emotion , time, and money, and the client could give a shit, because they lack the moral tread to understand. Or the blog, about a blog that I wanted to write privately, so know one knew it was me, just to tell the world the truth as I see it, I wanted to let people borrow my eyes for just a little while, but the guilt drove me crazy, it got all the way to the laptop, but was deleted. Or the blog about the conversation I had with a friend, about HD TV and the affect it has on his "couch potatoeness", he mentioned that it was something he had to "get over", the additional 20lbs the TV had caused, I totally related with him. Or the blog about me loving to watch "man vs. wild" and my wife spoiling it for me, when she said "what does the camera people eat?" It was a wrap after that, haven't watched it since. I almost forgot about the blog about "the Jones's"that wonderful family that everyone tries to keep up with, and I remember wondering if we had fell victim to the temptation to live up to the unreal. Also the blog about the car business, how I have such a love/hate relationship with it, the money is great, just can't be at work all the time, I wasn't ready to hang my hat there for the rest of my life. And finally the blog about real estate and how it is such a tough business, it's like playing in the majors of any sport, the work is no joke, that "1 percent" can do it, the effort has to be relentless, I have witnessed many folk fall off; it ain't all glorious, the classes, all the dues you pay; the picture you see from the outside seems so easy, I too was guilty thinking I could just get my license and the dollars would just start rolling in. Wrong!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
RHYTHM SHOOTER
Now that some folks want to know how the name "Skywalker" came to be. Plain and simple I had mad hops!! I could jump out the gym!! and I was only about 5ft 4. I had a rep for dunking on people, or doing nice break away dunks: 360's and such. When I entered LA High School. My name became Mr. Hops. But my game was limited due to the fact I had such a dominant skill, I didn't need to work on other parts of my game cuz my jumping ability allowed me to cover all other short comings I had on the court, not until I was older did my jumper, and dribbling skills get a lot better as my dominant jumping skill started to diminish, and could no longer jump out the gym. Now "my game" is mostly shooting jumpers, but once I'm in a good shooting "rhythm",its lights out, the same goes for work.
Rhythm shooter the title had something to do with basketball, but more about the current stage of my life. Yes I do still play ball, as often as I can, and I love to hit the three pointers especially when I get in a "rhythm". This rhythm that I am referring to, is the rhythm of my life, my wife and I are both salespeople for us, the seeds we plant today, is for us to harvest in the future, and the harvest that we have today, came from the seeds we planted in a different season. My wife and I just had our first child together, we got and new house, we both made career changes, all within the last two years. She worked at her previous employer for 9 years, she went through many mangers and pay deductions, she has a real talent for what she does, but the result of her great work was more work for less pay, so she made a move, its alright when the wheel is turning, but to make it make that first rotation... it's a "bitch" she had to start from scratch. And during this same time I had an opportunity to do Real Estate full time, with "hot shot" in the business, we both knew that I would not remain in the car business, due to the hours are just too long, yeah you make money, but what is your life, nothing against the car business I still love it, it helped us to have the life we have grown to know, but I just didn't want to hang my hat on it for the rest of my life, you can't grow without knew challenges.
The reason for all the back ground is this. We have a lot of guess at our home, my wife's family and my family come out often. But here is the thing, we both work from home, so our home is also the "office". I can't speak for my wife, but for me it hurts my production, because I'm a "rhythm shooter" Everybody that comes out, is on vacation.....but we... are not... on vacation, and they don't respect the fact, that we are not on vacation and it pisses me off, its if though we are forced to take vacation, and trust I get a tude! because they are here in our home/office; it's like your family coming to your office everyday and sitting with you while you work, they're making noise, they get bored, wanting to do things, but you have to stay to work so you can maintain the lifestyle they enjoy with you. I feel that either we need a bigger house or they need to stay a Hotel, and see us after office hours, because again " it kills my rhythm", I don't want to tell you an excuse,why I'm not successful, do you really care? I wish we could move in to a much bigger house, but at this point with them coming to the home/office so often, I may never reach my goal. My insecurities is what drives me everyday, I'm scare to death of lack of success, not having what I deserve, I've already lived the other(growing up poor). We need to get this shit right, I hope I don't sound too, selfish, but I have a strong desire to be the very best I can be everyday, with all that I do. My coach in high school always said "I don't want excuses I want results".
Rhythm shooter the title had something to do with basketball, but more about the current stage of my life. Yes I do still play ball, as often as I can, and I love to hit the three pointers especially when I get in a "rhythm". This rhythm that I am referring to, is the rhythm of my life, my wife and I are both salespeople for us, the seeds we plant today, is for us to harvest in the future, and the harvest that we have today, came from the seeds we planted in a different season. My wife and I just had our first child together, we got and new house, we both made career changes, all within the last two years. She worked at her previous employer for 9 years, she went through many mangers and pay deductions, she has a real talent for what she does, but the result of her great work was more work for less pay, so she made a move, its alright when the wheel is turning, but to make it make that first rotation... it's a "bitch" she had to start from scratch. And during this same time I had an opportunity to do Real Estate full time, with "hot shot" in the business, we both knew that I would not remain in the car business, due to the hours are just too long, yeah you make money, but what is your life, nothing against the car business I still love it, it helped us to have the life we have grown to know, but I just didn't want to hang my hat on it for the rest of my life, you can't grow without knew challenges.
The reason for all the back ground is this. We have a lot of guess at our home, my wife's family and my family come out often. But here is the thing, we both work from home, so our home is also the "office". I can't speak for my wife, but for me it hurts my production, because I'm a "rhythm shooter" Everybody that comes out, is on vacation.....but we... are not... on vacation, and they don't respect the fact, that we are not on vacation and it pisses me off, its if though we are forced to take vacation, and trust I get a tude! because they are here in our home/office; it's like your family coming to your office everyday and sitting with you while you work, they're making noise, they get bored, wanting to do things, but you have to stay to work so you can maintain the lifestyle they enjoy with you. I feel that either we need a bigger house or they need to stay a Hotel, and see us after office hours, because again " it kills my rhythm", I don't want to tell you an excuse,why I'm not successful, do you really care? I wish we could move in to a much bigger house, but at this point with them coming to the home/office so often, I may never reach my goal. My insecurities is what drives me everyday, I'm scare to death of lack of success, not having what I deserve, I've already lived the other(growing up poor). We need to get this shit right, I hope I don't sound too, selfish, but I have a strong desire to be the very best I can be everyday, with all that I do. My coach in high school always said "I don't want excuses I want results".
Monday, August 3, 2009
Random Thoughts!!!
I felt the need to write today, I don't even have a title yet, don't know what to write about, just got the computer on my lap. It's starting to come to me, per a conversation I had via text message today with someone I love dearly. This may sound crazy, but the analogy of a the importance of a jockey, what is the jockey's roll in the horse race? Well for one, he must keep the horse on the right path, the horse would just run wild without the jockey guiding him. The jockey is the one who trains with the horse, under the eye of the horse trainer, so he knows the horse tendencies. And they figure out a strategy for the horse to be as successful as he/she can be on race day.
On race day the jockey must first keep the horse as calm as possible, so he doesn't expend the energy he/she needs to win the race. The horse knows something is going on, because he has been held back from running hard as race day approaches, making sure to keep the legs fresh. It's race day, the Jockey is the most important now, because he knows the way they have to attack (remember this is the Triple Crown) its is his job, no his duty to not let the horse spend his or herself to fast, because he knows he has to keep the horse under his control , until that moment when he has to peak and get past the competition to win. But remember the horse is celebrated, but the hero is the jockey, he executed the plan, he controlled the environment, he allowed the horse to reach his full potential, the horse just did as it was told.
Now what I've been thinking about since that text message, a parent is like a jockey...... they need to control how much their kids play organized sports, kids need down time too. In my case the sports does not allow me to spend quality with my biracial child, she's with the "white" side, but she looks like my side, and there are no one else around that looks like her, a fly in milk. I guess I'm a little bitter, first it was the ex-husband that kept her from spending time with me, now it's sports. I think it is important for her to benefit from both sides of her cultural background, I think it is a advantage over other's that have parents that come from the same background, and one parent that is an employee and the other is an entrepreneur, that's all to the child's advantage, "the more you know the more you do, the more you do the more you know". I'm better at writing what I feel as opposed to saying it to someone, because the is too much emotion behind the words, black folks won't trip, but I'm not around a lot of black folks these days...youknowhatimsayin. Check this out, even when I'm in the state to see her, put it this way, if there is ever a sporting event, I don't matter one bit, there is no changing of the plans for me. To this day I know that all I was, was an experiment that went, "not according to plan". I must admit "I hold something" I was good enough to lay with, but not to be a participating father, my opinions in child rearing does not matter one bit!! I can remember thinking, woooow "I was raised so wrong". A way to describe the world she is in that I'm talking about is "Pleasantville", fake ass shit! Anytime I spend with her is so controlled, "she's got an event to be to, so I need her back by this date, the coach says if she is not here she won't play", "she's the best on the team"...an probably the most confused, what the hell?! Its important to get married before you decide to start dropping offspring, and don't just look at the branches of the family tree, check the trunk too. You never know what you are getting yourself into, this comes from some huge mistakes I have made in my life. From your actions you get one of two things: rewards or consequences and that's it......and that's what I'm saying about sports. I don't care to have a Kobe or a Beckham, I want a Harvard grad, it's much better to be rich than famous, look at The King of Pop, even in death he has no "privacy". You are considered old in sports in your early 30's, what do you do with the rest of your life with this now broken down body, you suffer premature aging from sports. I am just saying its more to life than sports, this shit has gotten out of hand.
On race day the jockey must first keep the horse as calm as possible, so he doesn't expend the energy he/she needs to win the race. The horse knows something is going on, because he has been held back from running hard as race day approaches, making sure to keep the legs fresh. It's race day, the Jockey is the most important now, because he knows the way they have to attack (remember this is the Triple Crown) its is his job, no his duty to not let the horse spend his or herself to fast, because he knows he has to keep the horse under his control , until that moment when he has to peak and get past the competition to win. But remember the horse is celebrated, but the hero is the jockey, he executed the plan, he controlled the environment, he allowed the horse to reach his full potential, the horse just did as it was told.
Now what I've been thinking about since that text message, a parent is like a jockey...... they need to control how much their kids play organized sports, kids need down time too. In my case the sports does not allow me to spend quality with my biracial child, she's with the "white" side, but she looks like my side, and there are no one else around that looks like her, a fly in milk. I guess I'm a little bitter, first it was the ex-husband that kept her from spending time with me, now it's sports. I think it is important for her to benefit from both sides of her cultural background, I think it is a advantage over other's that have parents that come from the same background, and one parent that is an employee and the other is an entrepreneur, that's all to the child's advantage, "the more you know the more you do, the more you do the more you know". I'm better at writing what I feel as opposed to saying it to someone, because the is too much emotion behind the words, black folks won't trip, but I'm not around a lot of black folks these days...youknowhatimsayin. Check this out, even when I'm in the state to see her, put it this way, if there is ever a sporting event, I don't matter one bit, there is no changing of the plans for me. To this day I know that all I was, was an experiment that went, "not according to plan". I must admit "I hold something" I was good enough to lay with, but not to be a participating father, my opinions in child rearing does not matter one bit!! I can remember thinking, woooow "I was raised so wrong". A way to describe the world she is in that I'm talking about is "Pleasantville", fake ass shit! Anytime I spend with her is so controlled, "she's got an event to be to, so I need her back by this date, the coach says if she is not here she won't play", "she's the best on the team"...an probably the most confused, what the hell?! Its important to get married before you decide to start dropping offspring, and don't just look at the branches of the family tree, check the trunk too. You never know what you are getting yourself into, this comes from some huge mistakes I have made in my life. From your actions you get one of two things: rewards or consequences and that's it......and that's what I'm saying about sports. I don't care to have a Kobe or a Beckham, I want a Harvard grad, it's much better to be rich than famous, look at The King of Pop, even in death he has no "privacy". You are considered old in sports in your early 30's, what do you do with the rest of your life with this now broken down body, you suffer premature aging from sports. I am just saying its more to life than sports, this shit has gotten out of hand.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Fatherhood 24/7
I recently became a new father, I say new because I am not new to fatherhood, but I am new to being a daddy 24/7, sending money and talking on the phone is one thing, but waking in the middle of the night and working your day around the child sleep pattern is another. I underestimated the true worth of a woman, I think. This was my first time seeing everything, and I mean everything, I'm smiling now, but at that time. I... was.... nerrrvous. It challenged my manhood, (Might I say the vagina is a magnificent tool) But I stood in there like a trooper, and I'm known for be a puker, but I stood tall. Just recently my wife has started to need that adult time with the girls, I had to watch my daughter on my own, without my safety net(the wife). And the funny thing is I had just said to her she could work from home and take of the baby at the same time, and she said she could not, so we had a "discussion". But low and behold, if my daughter didn't make a lie out of me, my thinking was that I would have a quiet night and get some work done. Apparently her and her mom had set me up! she cried and wanted to be held the whole while, and even when she slept, she only slept for like 10 minutes, and woke up ready to play, or eat, or just wanting me to hold her and I couldn't even sit down, how does she know I'm not standing? At the end of the night I pretended to text my wife to see how her bedazzle party was going, but I was really trying to figure out, when she could rescue me,
Fatherhood 24/7
Fatherhood 24/7
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