Monday, August 3, 2009

Random Thoughts!!!

I felt the need to write today, I don't even have a title yet, don't know what to write about, just got the computer on my lap. It's starting to come to me, per a conversation I had via text message today with someone I love dearly. This may sound crazy, but the analogy of a the importance of a jockey, what is the jockey's roll in the horse race? Well for one, he must keep the horse on the right path, the horse would just run wild without the jockey guiding him. The jockey is the one who trains with the horse, under the eye of the horse trainer, so he knows the horse tendencies. And they figure out a strategy for the horse to be as successful as he/she can be on race day.
On race day the jockey must first keep the horse as calm as possible, so he doesn't expend the energy he/she needs to win the race. The horse knows something is going on, because he has been held back from running hard as race day approaches, making sure to keep the legs fresh. It's race day, the Jockey is the most important now, because he knows the way they have to attack (remember this is the Triple Crown) its is his job, no his duty to not let the horse spend his or herself to fast, because he knows he has to keep the horse under his control , until that moment when he has to peak and get past the competition to win. But remember the horse is celebrated, but the hero is the jockey, he executed the plan, he controlled the environment, he allowed the horse to reach his full potential, the horse just did as it was told.
Now what I've been thinking about since that text message, a parent is like a jockey...... they need to control how much their kids play organized sports, kids need down time too. In my case the sports does not allow me to spend quality with my biracial child, she's with the "white" side, but she looks like my side, and there are no one else around that looks like her, a fly in milk. I guess I'm a little bitter, first it was the ex-husband that kept her from spending time with me, now it's sports. I think it is important for her to benefit from both sides of her cultural background, I think it is a advantage over other's that have parents that come from the same background, and one parent that is an employee and the other is an entrepreneur, that's all to the child's advantage, "the more you know the more you do, the more you do the more you know". I'm better at writing what I feel as opposed to saying it to someone, because the is too much emotion behind the words, black folks won't trip, but I'm not around a lot of black folks these days...youknowhatimsayin. Check this out, even when I'm in the state to see her, put it this way, if there is ever a sporting event, I don't matter one bit, there is no changing of the plans for me. To this day I know that all I was, was an experiment that went, "not according to plan". I must admit "I hold something" I was good enough to lay with, but not to be a participating father, my opinions in child rearing does not matter one bit!! I can remember thinking, woooow "I was raised so wrong". A way to describe the world she is in that I'm talking about is "Pleasantville", fake ass shit! Anytime I spend with her is so controlled, "she's got an event to be to, so I need her back by this date, the coach says if she is not here she won't play", "she's the best on the team"...an probably the most confused, what the hell?! Its important to get married before you decide to start dropping offspring, and don't just look at the branches of the family tree, check the trunk too. You never know what you are getting yourself into, this comes from some huge mistakes I have made in my life. From your actions you get one of two things: rewards or consequences and that's it......and that's what I'm saying about sports. I don't care to have a Kobe or a Beckham, I want a Harvard grad, it's much better to be rich than famous, look at The King of Pop, even in death he has no "privacy". You are considered old in sports in your early 30's, what do you do with the rest of your life with this now broken down body, you suffer premature aging from sports. I am just saying its more to life than sports, this shit has gotten out of hand.

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